I took a principles of programming languages course a while back and got to touch on a lot of these old languages. My professor had huge hard-on for Lisp. Don’t get me wrong. The simplicity of the language is admirable. But reading and parsing that shit gave me headaches. No me gusta.

Serving multiple data streams

200: “I gotchu, bro. Here you go. Have a good day.”

401: “You’re not on the list. Get lost.”

402: “Pay me or get lost.”

403: “Everyone get lost.”

404: “You are lost.”

500: “Ooopsss.”

501: “Knew I forgot something…”

504: “I can’t do this shit all day.”

A bit in Freedom units is 2 metric bits because it wouldn’t be freedom units without unnecessary confusion. A metric bit is equivalent to a freedom unit lil’bit, because it’s smaller than a bit. A bite (no relation to a byte) is 25 lil’bits because saying 25 ones and zeros outload is a mouthful. A hot dog is 4.2 bites or 105 lil’bits because that’s how many bites it takes me to eat a hot dog. A hamburger is 6.4 bites because it takes more bites to eat. A double with cheese is 7.8 bites. A whole hog is 233 hot dogs. A stampede is 23146 hamburgers.

My Scrum Master is nice, but her role seems to mostly revolve around enforcing documentation standards, coordinating refinements and retrospectives, tracking metrics on task completion, and maintaining our Jira board. She doesn’t have a lot of involvement with the specifics of development, delegation, or how we execute our tasks.

If your leadership doesn’t review productivity, sure…

Me: “So, I completed this time critical task a week ago, had it QA tested, and it’s been awaiting approval since Tuesday. I’ve posted my PR with links in the dev chat, I’ve pinged each of you individually each day as well. It is still awaiting approval before I can merge and pick up a new card from our backlog that is dependent on these changes. If literally anyone has the bandwidth to do this review, please do. I’ll post the link here again as well, to make this super convenient for you all, as well as the Jira card for reference, and the changes and requirements themselves are extremely straight forward. It should only take 5-10 minutes, tops. And I will be sitting here useless until it is done. Somebody, please, for the love of god…”

My team: crickets

Scrum Master: “Thanks for the update, kryptonianCodeMonkey… next up is…”

I remember when Bioshock Infinite came out, a few weirdos were demanding refunds because in the first 10 minutes of the game, a scene with a bunch of cultists requires you to click a button to “Accept Baptism” from them. They were refusing to push the button on religious grounds, and so they soft locked themselves out of playing the rest of the game. Smh.

“I installed Python on my Apple notebook. Guys… am I responsible for the Fall of Man?”

Poor Mormons can’t use Java.

Yeah, the worst of Trump isn’t limited to what political actions he took as President, but also the wider cultural impact he directly spawned, escalated and continues to propogate even outside of office. He contributed so much to this cultural shift that has provided legitimacy to crooks, crackpots, and literal nazis. And worse, he’s pushed the Republican party to coddle those people, capitulate to their whims, promote their voices, and endorse their views and elections. Not that the Republican party had been respectable in a generation, but 20 years ago, they weren’t publically allied with open fascists, far-right militia groups and domestic terrorists. They are now, though.

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I can’t speak as to much from personal experience. However, I do know of an extended family member that had a negative respiratory reaction to a weed vape he got online. He survived, but ended up in a coma for a while and suffered serious brain damage from lack of oxygen. He was a talented athlete, and now he will be lucky to walk and feed himself again.

Don’t know if it was tainted product, an allergic reaction, or what, but… I would make sure you can trust the safety of the product itself, ease into use checking to see if you might have a reaction, and maybe be prepared with an epipen or something in case you have a negative allergic reaction.

Just to be clear, I’m not one of those fear mongering “weed kills” types. I’m not a smoker myself, but very much support legalization and responsible recreational use. But I do not trust all of the sketchy companies producing vape products in general, let alone products that are illegal in much of the world.

They have that quantum compression in that right? Where the library of Alexandria is stored in the quantum state of a single electron? But it still eats up RAM like rednecks at a Golden Corral on crab leg night “getting their money’s worth”?

You pleabs are still on C(++)^4? Real men code in C(++)^11. Some of those dimensions are so small they don’t have deterministic outcomes. You write a “Hello, World!” program and you accidentally hack Taco Bell’s payroll department. Shit’s crazy.

You pleabs are still on C(++)^4? Real men code in C(++)^11. Some of those dimensions are so small they don’t have deterministic outcomes. You write a “Hello, World!” program and you accidentally hack Taco Bell’s payroll department. Shit’s crazy.

Everyone always asks “what the hell?” But nobody every asks “how is the hell?”