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Joined 4 years ago
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Cake day: December 1st, 2020

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  • I see it just as extension to “cancel culture” in IRL society. Nothing complicated just same stuff pushed from media comes to the web. Much helped by algorithms that are supporting it.

    It is not only reddit, whole public internet is just an echo chamber, with no critical opinion allowed.

    Every topic in current society (at least Europe+North America, I don’t know what’s happening in the rest of the world) is either black or white and no in between. Very scary place we are in currently. And people put you in some category just based on one sentence, one though, one idea.

    I don’t see anything special here or on reddit that is not happening in other parts of our society.

    Maybe fediverse is so clean you can see it happening live, just look at any defederation request and what they think of different opinions. Different opinion is forbidden. I never thought we will ger to this point, I believed internet will give us freedom of speech and freedom to discuss. But so many topics have become dangerous.


  • I understand she wants freedom in a house she lives in.

    But if you go to visit your parents it is not of her concern. She can not get both.

    She might be worried about some fantasy she has, but it might not be too bad in the end.

    I am in this situation. My parther is close (physically and emotionally) to her family and I wouldn’t want them visiting. But I am happy for her (without me) to go.

    Problem arises when she wants me to go too and that’s where fight starts. Either eight away or after visit, wether I go or not.

    No advice, just my experience.









  • Do you have an idea what attracts you to her?

    Do you know how humans choose their partners?

    \We usually choose ones that wake up our traumas. It is known emotion for us and looks like attraction, especially sexually. Yeah, we are quite perverse. You know that old idiom “similar to your mother”, yeah but not physically or obviously. For me it was that my mother, contrary to what she is saying, hated her father. That also means she hates all man, including her son (me). Keep in mind she is not aware of any of this hate. So until I discovered that, I was attracted to women that hated their father in the same way my mother did. They also hated, and were attracted to, all man. You can imagine how difficult those relationships are.

    Go get her, you will have your hearth broken. And it is worth it. But also find some psychotherapist to help you with solving this issue so that next one will be the one that is kind to you.


  • Sorry for seeing the comments now, but it’s never too late hopefully.

    Therapy helped me. Looking back first important step was noticing that I am angry. It is strange how hidden and unrecognizable anger can be.

    Second part is discovering why I was angry. As soon as we discover why are we angry, we stop being angry. When ai asked my shrink how does that work, he said “I don’t know, but it works”. And it really does.

    Now when someone says “I am angery and I know why I am angre” I am sure they have no idea.

    And I haven’t found other way to resolve that, than psychoanalysis as therapy.